NO, it is not acceptable for a man to talk about menopause!
Sadly, I hear this a LOT when around women talking about menopause, but it’s simply not true and we need to change the rhetoric imo.
More than ever we need allies on all sides and to discount a man's view based on them somehow not having a right to a viewpoint because "they don’t know how it feels” or they're simply “male” seems a little shortsighted to me.
And yes, I have heard those things said out loud.
Sure, there’s a way to go about it fellas and that’s why I’m writing this blog post … to help you navigate this potential minefield!
Many men feel awkward discussing a topic that impacts so many colleagues, is alien to them and for which society says they shouldn't have a voice on the matter.
It's an emotive topic for sure, but hey, the thing is that we're all surrounded by each other and affected either by women we work with, live with or interact with.
But think about it:
Being an ally and having good allies around us can make a huge difference.
It’s about creating a comfortable, supportive workspace for everyone, which will transform team cohesion and can actually save your company a ton of money on rehiring costs.
What You Will Learn
- Why understanding menopause is vital for men at work
- How to educate yourself about menopause without feeling weird
- Ways to show support and empathy to colleagues going through menopause
- Practical tips for talking about menopause respectfully
- How companies can create menopause-friendly workplaces
So, let's dive into becoming a better menopause ally.
Trust me, it’s worth it.
Why Men Need to Understand Menopause
Grasp the Impact
Menopause is a natural part of life, but for some reason, it's still a bit of a taboo subject.
Understanding it is crucial, especially in the workplace.
Why?
Because it affects more people than you think:
- Over 30 million women in the UK are currently in their menopause or peri-menopausal stage
- It can kick in from any age truthfully, but most common between 45-55yrs (average 47)
- It usually lasts around 7 years but can range from 3 upto 14!
- Symptoms vary from mild to severe and can impact performance at work, relationships etc
Imagine if someone you worked with was struggling with hot flushes, night sweats, or mood swings and felt they couldn’t talk about it.
That’s tough, right?
Well, most women "put up" with symptoms and their effect on life and work for fear of being talked about at best or targeted for far worse treatment at the other end of the scale.
Knowing more about it can help create a supportive environment where everyone feels a little comfortable, even if it’s just an acknowledgement that you understand their position.
Educate Yourself Thoroughly
Before you speak about menopause, make sure you understand it well. This includes knowing:
- The symptoms
- The challenges
- How differently it affects individuals
Empathy and Listening
When discussing menopause, always come from a place of empathy:
- Listen first without interrupting
- Don’t assume you know how someone feels
- Understand that experiences vary widely
Use Inclusive and Supportive Language
Your choice of words matters:
- Avoid jokes or minimising the impact of symptoms
- Use language that’s supportive and non-judgemental
All this builds trust and shows you respect a womans experiences.
Educate Yourself Without Feeling Awkward
Start with Credible Sources
Begin with some reliable resources to educate yourself:
- Beat The Menopause: obviously, start here. I have plenty of free resources to help you along!
- NHS Website: Offers a thorough guide on symptoms, treatments, and how it can affect daily life
- British Menopause Society: Provides insights from medical professionals and easy-to-understand information
- Books: “Menopause: All You Need to Know in One Concise Manual” by Louise Newson is a great start
Join Workshops and Webinars
Look for opportunities to attend workshops or webinars on menopause. Many organisations offer these:
- Online Workshops: Convenient and often free … including mine! Ask your company to make contact with me and I’ll happily tailor a free workshop just for your organisation
- In-Person Workshops: As above but in person. This obviously attracts a cost, but I’m very happy to come along and deliver my workshop in-person (UK Only at present)
Talk to Experts
Consider speaking with doctors or menopause specialists like those who work alongside me at BTM. You can do this casually or schedule a meeting to learn more.
Show Support and Empathy
Small Gestures Matter
Little things can go a long way in showing support:
- Offer a fan without making a big deal of it if someone is dealing with hot flushes
- Respect a womans need for breaks or flexible work hours if you’re a manager
These gestures might seem small but mean a lot and DO make a big difference.
Create an Open Environment
Encourage openness in your workplace:
- Start by sharing what you’ve learned about menopause
- Make it clear that it’s okay for somebody to talk about it openly with you
Practical Tips for Engaging Discussions
You might feel nervous about starting these conversations so here’s how you can do it without feeling awkward:
- Choose the Right Time and Place: A quiet, private setting is best
- Be sincere and direct: “I’ve been learning about menopause and would like to understand how I can support you.” for managers for example.
- Listen more than you speak: This shows you care and respect what the other person is going through
Advocate for a Menopause-Friendly Workplace
Promote Awareness Campaigns
In conjunction with women at work and HR and / or your EDI people, help start or support awareness campaigns in your workplace via:
- Sharing posters, leaflets and information sessions
- Regular updates on company intranet or notice boards
These resources are available to BTM partner members, so make sure you ask your company to sign-up in support.
Be a Role Model
Show others that it’s okay to discuss menopause. When you start these conversations, it paves the way for a more understanding and supportive workplace.
Engaging in Respectful Menopause Discussions
Approach with Sensitivity
When you want to engage in menopause discussions, approach them with sensitivity.
Acknowledge awkwardness and know that it’s okay to admit that talking about menopause feels a bit weird at first. “I know this topic isn’t often discussed, but I think it’s important …” is a nice lead into a conversation.
Be Informed
Use your knowledge to speak confidently but don’t fall into the trap of ‘explaining’, often referred to as mansplaining.
Remember what you’ve learned about symptoms, challenges, and individual experiences.
Practical Steps for Respectful Conversations
Here are some tips for keeping the conversation respectful:
- Ask open-ended questions: Instead of “Are you okay?” try asking “How can I support you?”
- Respect privacy: Some colleagues may prefer not to discuss their experience. Respect their choice and do not proceed!
- Avoid making assumptions: Don’t guess what they need or how they feel. Listen and learn, they will tell you if they want to.
Examples of Supportive Phrases
Here are some phrases to use when talking with colleagues experiencing menopause:
- “If there’s anything you need or any way I can help, please let me know.”
- “I’m here to support you.”
- “Let’s find a solution that works for you.”
Share Your Learning
Encourage open discussions by sharing what you’ve learned with your team. This can make the topic less intimidating for everyone.
Encouraging Companies to Create Menopause-Friendly Workplaces
Suggest Policy Changes
If you work in an environment that is open to suggestions, ask your HR department to suggest policies that support menopause in the workplace. BTM partner members get access to a pre-written, ready to go policy document that companies can adopt or adapt as required.
Encourage Open Dialogue
Create an environment where people feel free to talk about menopause. You can do this by:
- Setting up support groups or discussion forums with women who may be interested
- Starting conversations to normalise the topic
Be a Champion for Change
Don’t just rely on HR, you can be a champion for change yourself. Support your colleagues, and lead by example. If you spot something quite right, bad behaviours of others etc, then intervene and make it known you don’t agree and that you’re an ally.
Encourage a Culture of Support
Start with Empathy
Empathy is key to creating a supportive culture and understanding that menopause can be a challenging time for women, and that your support goes a long way.
Lead by Example
When men take the initiative to be supportive, it sets a positive example for everyone:
- Show that it’s okay to talk about menopause in your presence
- Encourage other men to get involved and be supportive
- Call out bad behaviours when you see or hear them
Celebrate Progress
Celebrate the changes and progress your company makes:
- Acknowledge when someone goes above and beyond in offering support
- Share success stories and positive outcomes
Staying Informed
Keep learning about menopause and updating your knowledge:
- Regularly check credible sources - again BTM can help with that if your company is signed-up as a partner member
- Attend any new training or workshops available
Feedback and Improvement
Finally, always seek feedback to improve:
- Ask colleagues / women how you can be more supportive
- Encourage HR to continually update policies based on feedback, formalising that process if possible
Conclusion: Become a Helping Hand, Friend and Ally
Supporting colleagues through menopause isn’t just a job for HR. It’s something everyone should be involved in.
By educating yourself, showing empathy, and advocating for changes, you'll make a huge difference.
So let’s commit to being better menopause allies. By doing so, you create a better workplace for everyone.
Don’t wait, start today - be the difference.
For more tips, resources, and support, visit beatthemenopause.com.
Ready to start?
So, what next …
Supporting colleagues through menopause is essential, and men play a pivotal role. Share this guide with your team and make your company a more supportive place today.
Also, please encourage your HR / EDI people to invite me to hold a free LIVE online workshop where we talk about menopause and find out exactly how women feel right now through an anonymous survey!
Take care, and good luck. Don't forget to let me know how it goes for you ... share this article on socials and tag me in (Lea Bridgen).
Lea
